Cognition State: Fuzzy

March 27, 2006

Unaware of the relief that blogging provided me with, my mind is an absolute mess.  It’s time I make a conscious effort to blog consistently, again.  For reals this time.


March Madness

March 2, 2006

Already in the month of March??? Sheeeeesh how time flies.  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted to this blog, a splurge is definitely due…….

Barring a disasterous comeback by Amare, the Suns are my pick this year. 

All the way back in 1996, I was cruisin with a Pentium 166mhz desktop system.  Cruisin, that is, with a 9600 baud modem, on America Online.  Little did I know that it marked the beginning of a 10 year addiction.  The addiction? Chatting on AOL Instant messenger.  On this fine Chinese New Years day, I sabotaged my own AIM password, and vow to never sign on AIM again.  For the most part, AIM has helped me build friendships, get to know people better, and keep in close contact with many people that mean something to me.  However, smack in the middle of a midlife crisis, I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to exterminate sources of unproductivity and laziness.  In honor of a great, but disruptive technology, here is a recollection of some key AIM moments:

  1. Narky and biggie505, competing to be the best professional Aim’er. 
  2. The good ol days, where internet security was like swiss cheese, booting and signing people off at will, via a sneaky, sneaky sequence of characters.  Ahhhh, for two weeks, I felt that I ruled the AIM world.  Nobody knew what caused their signoffs, because nobody could know.  All I had to do was send an IM with a specific set of characters and voila, they’re gone.
  3. The realization that AIM wasted more of my time than ANY other activity that I took part in.
  4. Instant messaging, although convenient and fun, proved to be a strong force in weakening friendships due to the miscommunications and implications of words, symbols, smiley faces, and slow rate of responses.
  5. The realization that not saying hello or acknowledging a close buddy online, somehow, in a sick, twisted way is comparable to walking by that same close buddy and not saying a word.

It was fun folks. 

Happy New Years

January 30, 2006

The year of the dog is here.  Happy new years, everybody.  May 2006 bring you all lots of good luck, good health, and good times.  Special thanks to my family, friends, and girlfriend who have supported and loved me in every way possible. 

Losing yourself.

January 20, 2006

I think I’ve lost myself so many times, I discovered the beauty of finding yourself again.

My two dawgs.

January 18, 2006


Say hello to Mochi and Gizmo, two of the worlds greatest dogs. Brothers, from another mother.


January 18, 2006

Doesn’t it seem like life just makes it especially difficult for two perfectly good people to get along? As we all traverse life, we continue to change, grow, and experience different things. Values, perspectives, interests, and morals, inevitably change dynamically. Two people who got along and connected very well can just as easily become disconnected, and two people who just couldn’t connect, can just as easily become connected.

And so here I am, faced with a slew of weakened friendships. For one who tries to put in a lot into friendships, have I failed to uphold my responsibilities as a good friend? or did I just set my expectations too high? Neither. My only fault was the inability to realize, believe, and accept that as we get older, life makes it that much harder.

Ever feel that there are significant people in your life who continue to choose to play a very insignificant role? 9 times out of 10, its probably because the other person probably is going through some rough times.
You just gotta believe that life just makes it hard, and that everyone is struggling together.

Just as the saying goes, you don’t know what you’ve got, until its
gone…Unfortunately, you also don’t know how much you put into a friendship, until you stop.

2005 Reflections

January 1, 2006

What better time to rekindle the blogging phenomenon in my own life, with some of my 2005 reflections.

Friends all have their own unique way of being there for you. One of the keys to a strong friendship lies not in the understanding itself, but merely the willingness to understand why two paths crossed. Everything else is secondary. The friendship itself is an embodiment of the understanding.


Success is STILL the meeting point between opportunity and proper preparation. Strong focus needs to be put on what ‘proper preparation,’ really means. Opportunities become crystal clear and grow upon each other only to tease you about how improperly prepared you are. One day, you will be properly prepared, and one day, success will be part of the preparation for a fulfilling life.


Addictions are strikingly similar to friendships in a disgusting way. While a friendship grows as the understanding becomes more clear, addictions die. They key to eliminating addiction lies not in the understanding itself, but the neverending willingness to understand why the addiction became one. In a nutshell, the strength of the addiction is inversely proportional to the understanding. Ironically,kicking the addiction, whatever it may be, is like losing a best friend.

If I had to sum up 2005 in one sentence:

It took me 25 years to do so, but I’m beginning to understand.